FORGE GET ME NOTS -- Yes, Julie Newmar Forgeries are Out There

The comments left on celebrity Facebook pages range from the endearing to the alarming, with a lot of not very original "reaction memes" and woefully unoriginal remarks in between. 

This is why most of it is never even seen by the celebrity.  

Recently a fan left a series of off-topic comments on a serious problem: forgeries.  It was more of a warning to others: 

Unfortunately, it's easier than ever to fake signatures, thanks to digital technology, Photoshop, etc.  

Fans at "hit and run" memorabilia shows are very susceptible, since they get excited about something they see, and trust the dealer. They're not likely to take out a cellphone, and Google for photos to see if the autograph is similar to legit ones. The odds are that the item is real, but too many get taken.

Sometimes, like Canadian pennies at the supermarket, nobody notices a fake mixed in, and that includes reputable dealers who operate in bulk. if it's "nickel and dime" items on stars that don't fetch more than $10 or $20, a dealer might spend the time to look very closely, especially when forgeries (including secretarials and autopens) can take a lot of time to study and verify. 

Why are there so many forgeries involving eBay auctions? Well, let's quote an old song:

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood....

Now who is that going to be? Who cares? 

Most celebrities don't. They don't have a VeRO (Verified Rights Owner) rep on eBay, since they don't want to pay somebody to expertly ferret out intellectual property abuses, or bother them with emails and attachments: "this looks like a forgery, confirm please" 

Ebay states "we are JUST a venue," and it's not their responsibility to know what's legit or not. It's up to VeRO reps to point it out. Which is a Catch-22. 

Fortunately, the odds of a Julie Newmar forgery being sold are a bit less. 

Julie and I do care. While I don't have time to inspect every signed photo that turns up on eBay, and sometimes you do have to examine the photo in person to detect the cheat, the more egregious imposters get caught. 

Here's a forger who offers a convincing Julie Newmar signed photo, even adding "Fondly," as Julie sometimes does. It's possible the seller Photoshopped a real "fondly, Julie Newmar" autograph off a photo with a white background, and then used a printer to spit that signature onto an 8x10. The only way for an expert to detect this kind of  cheat is by knowing the peculiarities of printer ink over pen ink, or checking if the dealer offers a lot of pictures where "fondly Julie Newmar" happens to always be the same size and slant every time. 

The mistake was to put the forgery on a Photoshop jobs where Julie's head is attached to the body of a dominatrix with a whip. The seller wanted to have a stand-out photo different from the usual Catwoman items on eBay...but it stood out a little TOO glaringly and he got caught. 

PETA is for the "ethical treatment" of animals. Some stars, including the Catwoman, believe in being ethical toward fans. She's on the side of justice in this case, and doesn't find the criminals quite so endearing and colorful as the ones in "Batman '66." It's easy to say "Caveat Emptor" (even if you don't know Latin) but if it doesn't take too much time to do a weekly check of eBay items, why not do it? As Sam Spade would say, forgeries are bad for business, bad all around. 

Sometimes a seller racks up so many positives he becomes "top rated." If he gets caught offering a bone-headed fake, he MIGHT be able to avoid suspension by claiming it was an "honest mistake." 

Ebay has NO firm rules on how many "honest mistakes" a seller can have before getting suspended. Here's a "top rated seller" who was headed for a $50 or perhaps $75 sale before his auction was stopped a few days short of completion: 

What I found galling about this guy's item was that line: "autograph obtained personally at Burbank Hollywood Autograph Show Last Year." Oh? When the lady in the photo is Lee, the movie Catwoman, not Julie, the TV Catwoman? 

In this case, the forgery is fairly amateurish. Julie's robust "swoop" on the letter J is deflated, the N is all wrong, and there's no fluidity between the w and the m. There are some other imperfections as well, regarding spacing and angle, as well as where and when the pen momentarily stops between certain letters. 

Here's a different problem: how many fans, dazzled by a $19.95 "bargain" know what RP means?

RP means REPRINT. "Caveat emptor" to those who didn't know that. A lot of sellers bury this bit of information in the fine print. Yes, these are removed. So are dupe photos in general, because the copyright owners, the studios, the photographers, the celebrities want their fans to get the best quality merchandise..."authorized." Why should a fan get a bad photo that will turn yellow in a few years, or fade? Not every celebrity or film/TV company cares about this, but many do. Disney is a well known example of a company that prides itself on protecting buyers from fakes. 

Sadly not everyone knows that Julie's website offers very reasonable prices on autographed photos AND that she really does personalize them. She doesn't use a secretary. Actually, this brings up another point  -- many famous stars do hand out "forgeries" all the time. Items sent in by mail to be signed are often faked by the secretary, which makes the star even less likely to care about what some eBay dealer is doing. This is unfortunate, because the odds are that a nefarious eBay dealer is a nefarious person in general, and the money going into the pocket of such a person might be financing other, worse illegal activities. 

The fact is that nobody is going to "watch over you," and treat you like a "lost lamb" when you're wandering around a memorabilia convention or surfing eBay.  Some owners of memorabilia events and some stars with VeRO reps on eBay do try to keep things ethical, but even with a super hero patrolling Gotham City, crimes do happen. 

Unholy Forgeries! Yes, it happens on Catwoman and Batman pictures all the time, and the practice is Purrrfectly Dastardly! 

Don't "Love That Bob"

Some people are a bit surprised that lovable sitcom legend Bob Cummings could be petty if not obnoxious on the set of "My Living Doll." It's always a bit surprising when somebody who projects a light or comic image is not always so pleasant (see: Godfrey, Arthur, see Cosby, Bill, etc. etc.) 

It seems that Bob's reputation was well known, and in the decade after "My Living Doll," apparently got worse as his ability to find work decreased. Why else, this very odd moment from "The Match Game," airing in 1980? 

FILL IN THE BLANK: 

“You may not know this, but after filming, Lassie goes to her dressing room, takes off her beautiful fur coat, and then the truth is known. Lassies is really a……….” 

Robet Pine said chihuahua

Brett Somers said greyhound

Charles Nelson Reilly said cat…

Bill Daily said… Robert Cummings 

ROBERT CUMMINGS?????

INSIDE A BITCH COSTUME?????

If you want to see for yourself, the episode is on YouTube:

Bob seemed to have an increasing amount of problems in his life, and Bill Daily, among others, knew it. They certainly knew that Bob had been married five times, and was known to take a Dr. Feelgood "vitamin" shot each day that happened to have some amphetamine in it. In fact, Bob was addicted to the drug since the late 50's, and not even the intervention of beloved TV personality Art Linkletter could cure him. Fortunately, like a variety of people from Peter Lorre to William Burroughs, Cummings was able to keep working by at least controlling the amount and duration of the needed "meds." Still, some fans who heard the rumors that he was linked to Dr. Feelgood (Dr. Max Jacobson) were a bit queasy about the doctor's claim that his special elixer was merely powerful herbs and vitamins along with...sheep sperm and monkey gonads!   

Bill Daily, a long time member of the sitcom world as well as a Hollywood insider, probably knew of Bob's arrogance and nefarious scheming, which wasn't nearly as funny as the sitcom plots of his dopey shows, like "My Hero" his first TV outing circa 1952. He fired a writer on that show (he was already swell-headed). Soon after he made headlines when he refused to be handed a summons while in his car. Instead, he gunned the engine and dragged LA County Deputy Sheriff William Conroy along a stretch of road. Lawsuits against Bob were not uncommon. Gossip columnist Hedda Hopper reported on four of them in the late 40's! 

Cummings was a vegetarian, which is laudable. But not so laudable, and not so lawful, was his pyramid scheme in 1972 that ended up with complaints of fraud against "Bob Cummings Inc.," purveyor of vitamin supplements. Only three years later, squeaky clean Cummings was embarrassed by an arrest for owning a "blue box," which allowed him to make free phone calls. This was all quite the reverse of his image as a sitcom actor as Republican as Buddy Ebsen. 

Cummings was a capable leading man in the 40's. He shouldn't be painted red like some kind of devil. He had his good points, and the fact that he was used so often in movies points to him being worth any minor troubles involved. 

Of course he became a big star thanks to his role as a leering Lothario in the "Love That Bob" sitcom (1955-1959). Too bad things slid after that. "The New Bob Cummings Show" flopped in 1961, and "My Living Doll" (1964-65) struggled with a killer time slot (opposite "Bonanza") and an iffy chemistry on screen and off between Cummings and Julie. The word is "iffy" because watching "My Living Doll" isn't too "cringeworthy" because of him. He has his moments where he gets some smiles registering chagrin, embarrassment and confusion over the sitcom plots and the uncontrollable and guileless behavior of the beautiful robot in his charge. He was aging; perhaps an actor more like Danny Kaye, twitching and swooning and pratfalling, or a sexless goofus ala Red Skelton doing similar takes and looks of surprise, could've worked better. A male with ANY kind of testosterone opposite a female robot that can be programmed...is going to raise, er, eyebrows. 

Given Bob's reputation as a creepy ladies man, many viewers were a bit uncomfortable wondering what a man who looked twice Julie's age, was doing with an easily-programmable robot. That he played a psychiatrist and "seemed" to have girlfriends in his life didn't reduce the smarm-level or raise his charm level. He never gave Rhoda a suggestive request? Really? 

The role required finesse. Bob Crane was considered for the job, but he would've been worse. Crane, a truly creepy man off-stage, also exuded a strange sexual vibe. One would be even less trusting of him opposite Rhoda the Robot than Cummings. Jack Mullaney, who became the co-star when Cummings was finally fired, was a better choice, but he too had an air of untrustworthy desperation about him as 'Peter." The built-in solution on "I Dream of Jeannie" was having Larry Hagman play a stalwart astronaut...a man of impeccable morals. The solution on "Bewitched" was to have Samantha married to her man (as well as clearly someone with more power and control!) The solution on "My Favorite Martian" was to have two men co-starring. Could "My Living Doll" have worked if an Imogene Coca or aging Lucille Ball played opposite the robot? Hmm....

Yes, we remember the guy from the Portland Beavers who played Benjamin Pontipee

 Sometimes Julie fans ask "Who was THAT guy?" 

JEFF RICHARDS. 

He passed away on July 28, 1989. For some who watched "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" on small square TV sets in the 60's and 70's, he was the guy you didn't always see. 

He was matched with Julie because of his height, but somebody forgot to note that while he had been an amateur baseball player (for the Portland Beavers) he was not much of a dancer. So...in the widescreen scenes, he and partner Julie were usually placed at the far end, with the better dancing couples in the middle. When "fitted for your screen," he (and Julie) disappeared entirely. 

One of the more "authentic" brothers in the film, Richard Mansfield Taylor actually was born in rugged lumber territory; Oregon (November 1, 1924). Oregon is the setting for "Seven Brides," of course.

After Navy service, the 22 year-old joined the Portland Beavers as a shortstop, and moved on to the Seattle Senators. At that time, there were no West Coast professional baseball teams, so he wasn't scouted by either the S.F. Giants or L.A. Dodgers. After a ligament injury, the tall, good-looking ex-athlete turned to a career in movies. He played a baseball player in the 1950 comedy "Kill the Umpire," and was signed to MGM the following year. That's when Richard Taylor became Jeff Richards. 

He played a baseball player - again - in "Angels in the Outfield" (1951) and yet again in "Big Leaguer" (1954). That was the year, age 30, he became one of the brothers in "Seven Brides..." He was nearly a decade younger than his dance partner. 

His career kicked into gear with "The Marauders" (1955) and "The Opposite Sex" (1956),  where he didn't quite have seven bride possibilities, but wasn't doing badly at all. You might recognize Joan Collins and Ann Miller among his admirers.

While some of the other guys who played brothers in "Seven Brides" didn't amount to much, and may not have been able to put their arms around many or any famous women,  Richards was considered a very promising star in his 30's. Mamie Van Doren is a victim of rope in this odd publicity still for the 1958 cult item "Born Reckless." 

Not one to brood over those "sobbin'" women in "Seven Brides," Jeff moved on to the "Island of Lost Women" in 1959 with John Smith. A variation on "sword and sandals" flicks, it was a bare chests & sarongs epic. If the film was re-made today, it might be the men in sarongs and the women showing the bare chests. 

Starring roles in mediocre films and TV shows didn't help his career.  He starred in the forgotten "It's a Dog's Life" (1955) and "Secret of the Purple Reef" (1960). Well, the ONLY other young brother from "Seven Brides" to actually be the star of a movie was Russ Tamblyn, so nice going, Mr. Richards. PS, you were fortunate not to get a dog bite in that 1955 epic...

Richards was the title character "Jefferson Drum" in 26 episodes of the NBC series (1958-59). 

So, "that guy" who was just another brother in a favorite film musical, actually was quite a guy, with some starring opportunities on TV and in film, and a pretty good credit list in the 50's. 

After a six-year drought, his last screen appearance was in "Waco" (1966) starring his pal from the "Seven Brides" days, Howard Keel. 

Zoom Blah! or..."Caption This, Please."

You've seen it on social media all the time: "CAPTION THIS!" 

Somebody tosses a photo and people are supposed to have fun imagining what could be said. 

IMAGINING is the fun part. Seeing what people contribute usually isn't. So, just IMAGINE what could be going on and...keep it to yourself! 

What exactly this is, well, it looks like a ZOOM question and answer session, and Julie does a few of these, which usually involves the usual Catwoman questions and appropriate gushing praise for a living legend.

She's always been polite to those amateurs who point a camcorder at her at a memorabilia show and say "This is going on YouTube" or "I have a Public Access TV Show!!!" 

What harm does it do? Not a lot. During the pandemic, "ZOOM BLAB" is pretty vital. For months, Stephen Colbert and the professionals have been training their cameras on themselves, and doing remote interviews with people. It beats re-runs. 

So here we have what looks like the West Hollywood version of Bill Maher, clutching a teddy bear and asking questions...make up your own scenario to explain Julie's expressions. Looks like a pretty hilarious Q&A -- well, the guy is certainly having the time of his life and he sure gets reactions! 

It does confirm that Julie is a fantastic mime, and could've been a huge star in silent films, a rival of Mabel Normand! 

 

BEN BLUE WAS JULIE NEWMAR'S MAIN SQUEEZE - LITERALLY

Julie and I are always looking for her "lost" TV shows.

Over the years, many have turned up, and (copyright permitting) some clips have been shared on YouTube. One item that may not exist anymore is from "ALL-STAR REVUE."

The early variety show struggled along for several seasons, never as successful as "The Colgate Comedy Hour" or the later "Show of Shows," both existing today thanks to kinescopes (16mm camera to TV screen) made as the live shows aired.

It was expensive to make kinescopes, but some stars were egomaniacs and some fans were archivists and we thank them for taking the time and spending the money! 

UNFORTUNATELY, few were intent on preserving "ALL-STAR REVUE," which was originally titled "FOUR STAR REVUE" after the four alternating hosts. By the third season, Ed Wynn was burned out, Danny Thomas was gone, and the two main hosts were Tallulah Bankhead alternating with George Jessel.

George hosted seven episodes. Tallulah hosted six. Turning up to host one show: Rosalind Russell, Perry Como, the Ritz Brothers, Olsen and Johnson, Bob Hope, Ben Blue and Dennis Day. Several second bananas turned up quite a few times, including Ben Blue. 

Mr. Blue was a slim, sad-faced guy who some thought of as a junior Buster Keaton. THIS guy:

He usually wasn't smiling, and neither was Julie Newmar after her scene with him.

Ben Blue hosted on March 28th 1953, but Julie recalls that George Jessel was the star of the episode that featured her in an uncredited comic dance number. It was April 18th 1953, the last show for the season, and the last appearance for Julie because "I had to be taped up after Ben Blue got his arms around me!"

Rib-tickler Ben turned out to be a rib-cracker. While hoisting Julie in the air for a comical dance moment, he accidentally did some serious damage to a few of her ribs. She completed her scene of course, but perhaps after that, she thought of her co-star as Ben Black And Blue.

Ben Blue did a lot of comical dance numbers when he guested on the "ALL-STAR REVUE," usually with a statuesque woman much taller than he. More desperate than amusing now, at the time, audiences howled at his wobbly-legged dancing and his gawping at the unattainable he was trying to impress. 

Viewers were tolerant in that naive age, and laughed at mime acts that involved dense dopes tripping over their feet, constantly dropping their hats or gloves, or repeatedly getting an arm caught in a coat sleeve. It was a slower-paced time when people didn't yell "GET ON WITH IT!" Those were the days when Mr. Hulot could take a holiday and people were impressed. 

While Keaton's comedy was witty and well-timed, vaudevillians like Ben Blue were obvious and goofy. His segments on "All Star Revue" didn't vary much as he performed the same schtick over and over. The tall blonde you see above could've had the same fate as Julie. Who knows, maybe instead of a broken rib she ended up with a stomped toe.

The two sequences above were from the February 14th 1953 episode hosted by Perry Como — one of only a half-dozen surviving episodes of the series. 

Still lost are scenes that somebody should've been recording off the flickery TV screen: a sketch featuring Martha Raye, Boris Karloff and Peter Lorre...Tallulah doing a dramatic monologue as Nurse Edith Cavell and getting laughs with a Scarlett O'Hara parody on "Gone With the Wind..." young Johnny Carson in a doctor sketch...arias from Rise Stevens and "I'm Gonna Live Till I Die" from Connie Russell...so many other magic moments.

What we know about the missing episodes of "All Star Revue" comes mainly from the weekly reviews in the trade newspaper Variety. IMDB doesn't even list Julie's "All Star Revue" show because, like the two women above, most of the extras were "uncredited," and not mentioned by name in Variety reviews.

At the time, Julie was doing uncredited scenes in movies (including "The I Don't Care Girl" "Band Wagon" and "Farmer Takes a Wife" all released in 1953).  

It's long odds and a tall order that somebody will discover a kinescope of the show featuring short Ben and his tall dance partner Julie. Do we have hope? Hope, yes. When Bob hosted the show, he had the money and the ego to demand that somebody kinescope it for him. Also surviving, a shows hosted by Danny Thomas, The Ritz Brothers and Olsen and Johnson.

Fortunately Julie's first sitcom guest spot was on "The Phil Silvers Show," and it was filmed. Fans love that one, and she was the hit of the episode, and did get billing: Julie Newmeyer.

It was JULIE NEVMEN in YUGOSLAVIA

Ah! JULIE NEVMEN!!! 

So gasped the Yugoslavians when they went to see "Marriage-go-Round." Somehow James Mason's name was the only one that wasn't "translated." 

Auctioning off Julie Newmar #1

A little over $50 to get 5 negatives of Julie lounging in the grass...

Including...

Auctioning Off Julie Newmar #2

UP THE ANTE...

$102 for a strip of five negatives...

including...